it's strange. i suddenly feel old. i've never felt this way before- maybe it's because my work involves dealing with students (i still think myself a student incidentally- i like the feeling associated with being a student- the mixture of ambition and easy living and daydreams and campus life) - and though i might be a student in my head (oh what a wonderland it is) forever, the DOB- something-something- 1990 - shakes me out of my 'young' world every time I look at a registration form. 1990 - lord isn't he a lil too young for a master's degree- i mean i just completed mine- and i'm early-80s born - TRIIIING- 'you didn't just complete it silly- that was 2 years ago- maybe more- get over it already'. Horrid. I seem to have reached a point where colleagues my age are complaining of pot bellies and fatigue and stray white hair! WHITE HAIR, I kid you not - NOOOOOO- this can't be happening! I'm frightened, I actually am.

Time's winged chariot is hurtling down Runway 5 at break neck speed I say, and I'm so busy smelling the roses, I haven't noticed. You know what -I think i'll skip the ride, stand on the sidelines, and wave to those aboard.

so much has happened in the last 5 months, i don't know where to start! first things first, i can't believe it's been 5 months since it was here last- there was so much that could have been written yet so much that was better left unsaid...so here i am at the end of that road, happy that there was a journey - however bumpy it may have been.

i'm not going to vent- there's nothing left to vent really- the mind and heart has thrashed everything around so much, that it's been beaten to a vapour so fine -the all but visible memories of turbulence that once occupied my every waking moment. Instead, i'll grab those vapours in my hand, and inhale them slowly, letting them sink into the recesses of my mind, where i'll lock them up so that no one ever finds out they belonged to me.

The storm has passed- oh what a storm - i thrilled in every aching moment of it. And after it, the lull. A calm sea that could roar if a stray raindrop fell on it, now undisturbed. Yet, still waters run deep.