Saturday, May 21, 2011

I'm depressed. I want to sit in a corner and weep. Unhappy tears about I don't know what. Just get it all out. I don't know what. I feel useless, unproductive, pointless, lazy, old, wrinkly and FAT. Waaah :( I'm even forgotten how to use exclamation marks. I mean that's how bad things are. I don't know what things. Just things. Sigh. So I thought I needed some alone time, but alone time is making me miserable. I could have got up at 8 and got to this amusement park with everyone else but I cancelled out because I wanted to be on my own waking up at 11 and just doing my own thing. But what I really want to do is just be out somewhere laughing my head off for no particular reason.

bllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I hate my life. I don't really but I feel like being miserable. I hate my life, I hate everything around me, I hate everyone. No one loves me, I'm going to eat some worms.

I don't want to make grocery lists, and worry about how much dishwashing liquid I have left and how much balance I have left on my Oyster card and whether I should get a bus pass or a train pass or a tube pass or an all-in-one pass. Or how I'm going to get in time for free breakfast everyday from Monday or how I'm going to get in time at all.

I want to pick up the bloody phone and make a few calls but I don't want to. Sometimes it takes too much of a bloody effort to make conversation. I want to just call someone up and just be silent. Supremely silent.

Leave me alone world. Come give me a hug.


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